How do i handle a situation like this?

smhersweetie · 10-10-2007, 03:27 PM

Alright...just got back from picking up my daughter from school. Was upset...very upset!! Well, I let my daughter play with some boys her age at the playgroud. I was sitting there when all of a sudden the kids blurted out..."Are you from china"? In the way of...of course making fun of her. I didn't mind maybe the first few times, but then they kepted asking her. Of course it bothered me, so I got up and told her that what they were asking wasn't nice and told her that we were leaving. Of course my daughter didn't understand that they were being mean or making fun of her. I asked my daughter and told her did she tell them "NO" she wasn't from china. Of course she didn't answer me because she was upset we left the playground. There were two parents sitting behind me, but a distance...while we walked away one of the mother's called her son over. I didn't hear...I took my daughter and walked away. Now...not that I have anything against chinese people or China. Of course they're kids...they don't know. Now what do I do in a situation like this? I felt offended and will talk to my daughter about later on, because she didn't sense that the kids were making fun of her. I tried not to take this so personally until like the 10th time like all 5 boys asked her if she was from China. Gosh....how do i deal with situations like this? It's like their kids, but still....I don't want them to keep asking or bothering my daughter even after if she even did say "no". I was soo bothered...I walked away and I'm sure the two parents were looking at me like what's wrong?? Of course both of their boys are in my daughters class. We all see eachother when we pick up our kids. Any help or suggestions to handle something like this?

DougP · 10-10-2007, 03:54 PM

Just asking but were the other children Japanese?

smhersweetie · 10-10-2007, 03:58 PM

Nope. They were hispanic, white, and black.

ryukyuboi · 10-10-2007, 07:16 PM

Let it pass.

DougP · 10-10-2007, 08:21 PM

Kids are the best and most clearest indications to their parent's thoughts. They do say the darnedest things but a lot of what they do say is learned from their folks. As she grows up she will run into a lot more children/ young adults who were obviously not taught decent values. World still sucks and racism can come from any direction. I would just continue on with educating your child on what is right and what is wrong.

Asshat · 10-10-2007, 08:36 PM

Please teach your daughter to celebrate her heritage (whatever it may be) and let her know that sometimes people are just curious about other people. The kids are definitely parroting what their parents are saying.

You have the opportunity to break the mold, turn the page and teach your daughter to accept everyone.

Fonze · 10-10-2007, 08:41 PM

That blame the parent thing isn't completely true. These young kids could've learned it from anybody.

Did these kids parents hear what they were saying?

You did right and should've told your daughter to say no.

smhersweetie · 10-10-2007, 09:12 PM

Anger wore off...glad it did. I understand what you guys are saying. I make sure that my daughter does not treat anyone or anyone of a diff. race any different. And of course make sure that she knows how to respond when something like that occurs. I guess as a parent it just got to me....got my child and left the situation. Their kids...of course they don't understand...or do they? At that age they should know...but of course yes sometimes they aren't taught or don't know any better I guess.

Response to Fonze: Yes the parents heard it, but they were talking so then when I got up..in a calm voice, but upset told the kids that they shouldn't be making fun of her and then told my daughter we were leaving. One of the parents called her son over, but we left by the time her son got to her. I see them all the time...I'm sure they might just confront me about it tomorrow, but who knows.

Just want to make sure my daughter will know how to respond to something like that when she's on her own. No matter what...she can still play with them of course...kids are kids. Just want to make sure my daughter understands.

Just kinda frustrates me in away..hubby gone and me just home..huh...hate when he has to leave and be away from home. But yes...thanks for the advice guys.

dk · 10-10-2007, 09:51 PM

I think you did the right thing, but basically, kids will be kids. I think it was good of you to take your daughter out of the situation after enough of that crap, but as she gets older it might be good to try to not protect her too much. I'm not saying you were. I'm just saying kids will be kids. I remember facing quite a lot of prejudice as I was growing up over here.

Koopa Troopa · 10-10-2007, 11:59 PM

I think you overreacted. Kids will be kids, weither or not they heard it from their parents or a TV show they'll say it until they're told it's wrong to say.

I don't think you should teach your daughter to entertain such questions but that's just me.

I also feel that instead of ending your daughter's fun you should have brought it up to the parents if what the kids were saying offended you.

It's life, if you're different then others then you'll suffer for it. Hell I took ESL (English as a Second Language) classes in elementary school because my last name is Rodriguez. Funny thing is my first language is English... My dad had just passed away so I wasn't too talkative. I guess they figured I just wasn't participating because I didn't habla the ingles.

10-10-2007, 03:27 PM	#1
smhersweetie Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Okinawa, Japan Posts: 509 My Mood: Thanks: 88 Thanked 24 Times in 21 Posts Groans: 1 Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 22,109,090	How do i handle a situation like this? Alright...just got back from picking up my daughter from school. Was upset...very upset!! Well, I let my daughter play with some boys her age at the playgroud. I was sitting there when all of a sudden the kids blurted out..."Are you from china"? In the way of...of course making fun of her. I didn't mind maybe the first few times, but then they kepted asking her. Of course it bothered me, so I got up and told her that what they were asking wasn't nice and told her that we were leaving. Of course my daughter didn't understand that they were being mean or making fun of her. I asked my daughter and told her did she tell them "NO" she wasn't from china. Of course she didn't answer me because she was upset we left the playground. There were two parents sitting behind me, but a distance...while we walked away one of the mother's called her son over. I didn't hear...I took my daughter and walked away. Now...not that I have anything against chinese people or China. Of course they're kids...they don't know. Now what do I do in a situation like this? I felt offended and will talk to my daughter about later on, because she didn't sense that the kids were making fun of her. I tried not to take this so personally until like the 10th time like all 5 boys asked her if she was from China. Gosh....how do i deal with situations like this? It's like their kids, but still....I don't want them to keep asking or bothering my daughter even after if she even did say "no". I was soo bothered...I walked away and I'm sure the two parents were looking at me like what's wrong?? Of course both of their boys are in my daughters class. We all see eachother when we pick up our kids. Any help or suggestions to handle something like this?

10-10-2007, 03:54 PM	#2
DougP t(-_-t) MOD, Bitch Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: 北谷 Posts: 10,683 My Mood: Thanks: 5,761 Thanked 9,827 Times in 4,550 Posts Groans: 83 Groaned at 520 Times in 505 Posts Credits: 1,556,147,260	Just asking but were the other children Japanese? __________________ Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito. MAH-TWITTER *JU Humor* "It is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people consider to be a 'dismal science.' But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in this state of ignorance." Murray N. Rothbard

10-10-2007, 08:21 PM	#5
DougP t(-_-t) MOD, Bitch Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: 北谷 Posts: 10,683 My Mood: Thanks: 5,761 Thanked 9,827 Times in 4,550 Posts Groans: 83 Groaned at 520 Times in 505 Posts Credits: 1,556,147,260	Kids are the best and most clearest indications to their parent's thoughts. They do say the darnedest things but a lot of what they do say is learned from their folks. As she grows up she will run into a lot more children/ young adults who were obviously not taught decent values. World still sucks and racism can come from any direction. I would just continue on with educating your child on what is right and what is wrong. __________________ Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito. MAH-TWITTER *JU Humor* "It is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people consider to be a 'dismal science.' But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in this state of ignorance." Murray N. Rothbard

10-10-2007, 11:59 PM	#10
Koopa Troopa Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 71 My Mood: Thanks: 2 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 146	I think you overreacted. Kids will be kids, weither or not they heard it from their parents or a TV show they'll say it until they're told it's wrong to say. I don't think you should teach your daughter to entertain such questions but that's just me. I also feel that instead of ending your daughter's fun you should have brought it up to the parents if what the kids were saying offended you. It's life, if you're different then others then you'll suffer for it. Hell I took ESL (English as a Second Language) classes in elementary school because my last name is Rodriguez. Funny thing is my first language is English... My dad had just passed away so I wasn't too talkative. I guess they figured I just wasn't participating because I didn't habla the ingles. __________________ 私はGanguroの女の子のためにブレーキがかかる

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10-10-2007, 03:58 PM	#3
smhersweetie Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Okinawa, Japan Posts: 509 My Mood: Thanks: 88 Thanked 24 Times in 21 Posts Groans: 1 Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 22,109,090	Nope. They were hispanic, white, and black.

10-10-2007, 07:16 PM	#4
ryukyuboi Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Okinawa City Posts: 1,154 Thanks: 252 Thanked 444 Times in 225 Posts Groans: 51 Groaned at 38 Times in 29 Posts Credits: 83,353,428	Let it pass.

10-10-2007, 08:36 PM	#6
Asshat Dumber than a soap dish! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Somewhere in Utah Posts: 5,833 My Mood: Thanks: 1,073 Thanked 3,072 Times in 1,598 Posts Groans: 24 Groaned at 239 Times in 229 Posts Credits: 41,163,351	Please teach your daughter to celebrate her heritage (whatever it may be) and let her know that sometimes people are just curious about other people. The kids are definitely parroting what their parents are saying. You have the opportunity to break the mold, turn the page and teach your daughter to accept everyone.

10-10-2007, 08:41 PM	#7
Fonze Oki mayors B4 & After. Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Camp Foster Posts: 2,942 My Mood: Thanks: 235 Thanked 152 Times in 112 Posts Groans: 0 Groaned at 98 Times in 98 Posts Credits: 100,984,344	That blame the parent thing isn't completely true. These young kids could've learned it from anybody. Did these kids parents hear what they were saying? You did right and should've told your daughter to say no.

10-10-2007, 09:12 PM	#8
smhersweetie Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Okinawa, Japan Posts: 509 My Mood: Thanks: 88 Thanked 24 Times in 21 Posts Groans: 1 Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 22,109,090	Anger wore off...glad it did. I understand what you guys are saying. I make sure that my daughter does not treat anyone or anyone of a diff. race any different. And of course make sure that she knows how to respond when something like that occurs. I guess as a parent it just got to me....got my child and left the situation. Their kids...of course they don't understand...or do they? At that age they should know...but of course yes sometimes they aren't taught or don't know any better I guess. Response to Fonze: Yes the parents heard it, but they were talking so then when I got up..in a calm voice, but upset told the kids that they shouldn't be making fun of her and then told my daughter we were leaving. One of the parents called her son over, but we left by the time her son got to her. I see them all the time...I'm sure they might just confront me about it tomorrow, but who knows. Just want to make sure my daughter will know how to respond to something like that when she's on her own. No matter what...she can still play with them of course...kids are kids. Just want to make sure my daughter understands. Just kinda frustrates me in away..hubby gone and me just home..huh...hate when he has to leave and be away from home. But yes...thanks for the advice guys.

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