Maggie
06-26-2008, 08:55 PM
Footprints
I have, at the moment, 8 dogs, all of which I love dearly, but I wouldn’t be human, if there wasn’t one, or two, closer to my heart, than the others. The dog which owns, and will eventually break my heart, is a little, useless merle boy called Rhyda.
From the moment he was born I loved him. He was a needy little scrap, tiny, undersized and determined to die. The whole litter were hand reared, but even so, Rhyda clutched my heart from the first moment, and has, to this day, refused to let it go.
It’s a dangerous thing to love a dog this much. You know as soon as it’s born, that you’ll have to say goodbye to it, long before you’re ready to let it go, and absolutely nothing will ever change that. The most you can do is to let it share as much of your time and thoughts as possible. To let it fill your heart with memories because without doubt, this is all you’ll be left with.
It’s never enough, and it never becomes less painful.
Knowing this, I chose, against Matt’s wishes, to keep this small bundle of fluff. I’ve never regretted it for a single moment, and he has repaid my decision in full. Never was there a little dog, so knowing, and wise as Rhyda. He can do no wrong. If this means he gets away with things none of the other dogs do, so be it. I don’t care. He could never do anything wrong in my eyes.
In his time though, he’s done a lot of fun things. Trying to swim to Southend, being one of them. I had to swim out and get him.
At one time or another, the other dogs have tried their best to be rid of him (death being their favourite choice) but as he’s always with me, any plans they may have of removing him from his throne, are somewhat thwarted.
He tried twice to kill himself. The first time he ate wall filler, and absolutely terrified me. He came close enough to dying, to see the tunnel of light. I took up smoking again, while we waited at the vets to see if he’d pull through. He was in the vets for three days. I spent the three days wondering why I’d ever complained about him always having to sit on my lap.
The second time, he caught some kind of Haemorrhagic Virus, and went down hill so fast; I didn’t think he’d reach the vets in time. He did, of course, or I wouldn’t be looking at him right now. It was touch and go, for four days, and he has never been a strong dog, apart from his personality.
He never did much film work; in fact I think he was in front of the Camera three times. Once in Chatterhappy Ponies, when he had to double for Breeze, by leaping onto a ponies back, and over a 6ft fence. He’d never had anything to do with horses, hated kids, but he got the shot first time.
The second time was for a Comedy sketch, where the supposed vet was going to cut his leg off. Somehow I ended up in that shot and I’ve never been allowed to forget it.
The last time, he was an extra on The Bill, where he could be seen dragging a poor woman, across a muddy playing field, while Chase stole the scene.
He still comes with me everywhere, but his old eyes see so much less of the world now. He’s fifteen years old, and very frail. The time is fast approaching, when life will be too much for him, and I’ll have to say goodbye. I can’t imagine what life will be like. I hope he has a year or more left, but I know that this is fantasy. I’m far too experienced not to see when a dog is reaching life’s end.
As I type this, he is sitting beside me, looking straight into my soul, just as he has always been able to do. As I look at him, tears fill my eyes. I know just how lucky I’ve been. I know my whole world will be empty, cold and sad, with nothing to comfort me, in my very near future. I pray that I’ll be brave enough to let him go, as I know I must, and it terrifies me. But I also know that I have been blessed with fifteen years of fun, love and companionship.
Why does that not seem nearly enough?
15. 4. .92 to 3 .6.07.
R I P
Footprints
Warm body curled up close to mine,
Deep in sleep so soft you breathe.
Eyes tight shut that used to shine
Dear friend I beg you not to leave
To let you suffer more is wrong
You're old and ill, and we must part.
Good-bye Companion, I'll be strong
I'll feel your footsteps on my heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_4vM_sot6w
You'll need sound
I have, at the moment, 8 dogs, all of which I love dearly, but I wouldn’t be human, if there wasn’t one, or two, closer to my heart, than the others. The dog which owns, and will eventually break my heart, is a little, useless merle boy called Rhyda.
From the moment he was born I loved him. He was a needy little scrap, tiny, undersized and determined to die. The whole litter were hand reared, but even so, Rhyda clutched my heart from the first moment, and has, to this day, refused to let it go.
It’s a dangerous thing to love a dog this much. You know as soon as it’s born, that you’ll have to say goodbye to it, long before you’re ready to let it go, and absolutely nothing will ever change that. The most you can do is to let it share as much of your time and thoughts as possible. To let it fill your heart with memories because without doubt, this is all you’ll be left with.
It’s never enough, and it never becomes less painful.
Knowing this, I chose, against Matt’s wishes, to keep this small bundle of fluff. I’ve never regretted it for a single moment, and he has repaid my decision in full. Never was there a little dog, so knowing, and wise as Rhyda. He can do no wrong. If this means he gets away with things none of the other dogs do, so be it. I don’t care. He could never do anything wrong in my eyes.
In his time though, he’s done a lot of fun things. Trying to swim to Southend, being one of them. I had to swim out and get him.
At one time or another, the other dogs have tried their best to be rid of him (death being their favourite choice) but as he’s always with me, any plans they may have of removing him from his throne, are somewhat thwarted.
He tried twice to kill himself. The first time he ate wall filler, and absolutely terrified me. He came close enough to dying, to see the tunnel of light. I took up smoking again, while we waited at the vets to see if he’d pull through. He was in the vets for three days. I spent the three days wondering why I’d ever complained about him always having to sit on my lap.
The second time, he caught some kind of Haemorrhagic Virus, and went down hill so fast; I didn’t think he’d reach the vets in time. He did, of course, or I wouldn’t be looking at him right now. It was touch and go, for four days, and he has never been a strong dog, apart from his personality.
He never did much film work; in fact I think he was in front of the Camera three times. Once in Chatterhappy Ponies, when he had to double for Breeze, by leaping onto a ponies back, and over a 6ft fence. He’d never had anything to do with horses, hated kids, but he got the shot first time.
The second time was for a Comedy sketch, where the supposed vet was going to cut his leg off. Somehow I ended up in that shot and I’ve never been allowed to forget it.
The last time, he was an extra on The Bill, where he could be seen dragging a poor woman, across a muddy playing field, while Chase stole the scene.
He still comes with me everywhere, but his old eyes see so much less of the world now. He’s fifteen years old, and very frail. The time is fast approaching, when life will be too much for him, and I’ll have to say goodbye. I can’t imagine what life will be like. I hope he has a year or more left, but I know that this is fantasy. I’m far too experienced not to see when a dog is reaching life’s end.
As I type this, he is sitting beside me, looking straight into my soul, just as he has always been able to do. As I look at him, tears fill my eyes. I know just how lucky I’ve been. I know my whole world will be empty, cold and sad, with nothing to comfort me, in my very near future. I pray that I’ll be brave enough to let him go, as I know I must, and it terrifies me. But I also know that I have been blessed with fifteen years of fun, love and companionship.
Why does that not seem nearly enough?
15. 4. .92 to 3 .6.07.
R I P
Footprints
Warm body curled up close to mine,
Deep in sleep so soft you breathe.
Eyes tight shut that used to shine
Dear friend I beg you not to leave
To let you suffer more is wrong
You're old and ill, and we must part.
Good-bye Companion, I'll be strong
I'll feel your footsteps on my heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_4vM_sot6w
You'll need sound