Internet Dating

[TheNoNamedOne]

Have you ever done internet dating? Would you?

I have not because I got married before I got internet connecton. However, if my wife died and I wanted to get back into dating, then I probably would try it.

Some people will say you will meet only unattractive looking people on the internet, but I don't believe that, and I do think that there are some people who accurately describe themselves.

Someone I know who originally just dated by meeting people the old fashion way eventually jumped into the internet age of dating. He said he had wished he had had internet connection and dating years before. Never had so many dates as he had when using the internet and he said many of the ladies were cute. He ended up marrying one of them.

I suspect that internet dating gets an unfair amount of bad rep, and most of that comes from people who just haven't done it. I think for whatever snobbish reason they have, they just look down on it. Perhaps because they are just too afraid to try it.

Thoughts, or any experiences one could share would be appreciated to throw some honest light on this topic by someone who has tried it, or tried it more than just a few times.

[P_chan]

I actually got my wife's email before her phone number. We talked strictly online for about 2 months before we actually met. It was kinda nice because if she couldn't carry on a conversation online then I probably wouldn't have liked to date her.

[TheNoNamedOne]

P_chan, did she look like she said she did? And did you describe yourself accurately at first when the topic of appearances kind of was alluded to?

[P_chan]

yes we exchanged pictures a few times. What happened was her friend said I would be good for her and gave me her e-mail address and said send her a message. So I did!

[TheNoNamedOne]

yes we exchanged pictures a few times. What happened was her friend said I would be good for her and gave me her e-mail address and said send her a message. So I did!

P_chan, here on a forum board like this, where you can keep your anonymity, it is quite easy to be honest about meeting your wife on the internet. However, do you feel a little embarrassed about telling that to strangers or casual acquaintances or co-workers (of course your good friemds know -- you have already told us that). Do you feel a little stygma attatched to that or have you ever gotten a reply like, "Oh.... I see..." and felt like it was a little judgmental?

Man, I am surprised others haven't weighed in yet. Perhaps the thread just hasn't been up long enough. Hope more do share.

[socalheart]

Most people don't agree with internet dating, because it can be dangerous. Psycho stalkers are very hi-tech these days.

I signed up with internet dating sites a while ago to meet people in the area I had just moved. I actually met one guy in person . He was very nice, but we never became friends, and lost track of each other a few months after. When I moved to Okinawa, I did the same thing to meet new people here. I didn't meet anyone online who interested me, so stopped.

A year later, I went home for a visit to the states to decide if I was moving back there or not. I signed up for a MySpace profile and met a guy in Alabama who was moving to Okinawa. We got to talking while I was stateside and got along really well. Once he arrived in Okinawa, we started dating, and now, we're married! I've never been happier. I don't beat him much, as long as he does his chores. heh.

On the other hand, my friends have tried various internet dating services with no positive results. I didn't use MySpace for dating, but it worked out that way. I'm sure it works for most people. It's better than the old mail-order bride method of dating and marriage. heh.

[TheNoNamedOne]

Socalheart, how about you? Were you guys honest about each others' appearances (well, if it was MySpace, you guys probably had pics up), and do you readily tell how you met to casual acquaintances or get some strange looks when you do mention it?

[Talindra]

I met my first bf on the internet. I was 12 LOL. was horrible. he had lied to me and he was ugly!!! and kinda stinky. but being 12, and naive. i liekd him anyway. Lasted a big 9 month. then i met my second bf on the internet. I was still 12 >.> and it lasted 9 years. and he as not ugly and stinky :P
and we had describe each other as best as we could. He had no pic to trade. But we talked about 3 months on the phone/chat rooms before deciding to actualy go on a date (went to the theaters...saw Air force one!! *input american action movie music!!!!!!!*) I am kinda anti social so , the internet is where i talk to most people. I'm not sure i'd go looking for someone to date online. but I more then enjoy making friends. and well it starts with a friendship, then you end up liking the person more, or not. and it goes from there.

[TheNoNamedOne]

So, Tal, besides a young age, it hasn't really been negative for you.

I really don't understand why so many people bad mouth it. As for the danger factor, so long as you use common sense when meating the person the first time, I don't think it is anymore dangerous than how many people meet each other in bars, especially when closing time they decide to go back to the other's apartment or get a hotel or what not.

[dk]

Twelve?! Jebus!

[socalheart]

Were you guys honest about each others' appearances (well, if it was MySpace, you guys probably had pics up), and do you readily tell how you met to casual acquaintances or get some strange looks when you do mention it?

If someone asks us how we met, we usually tell them the porn convention in Las Vegas. ha! :p not really. Oddly enough, it's not a big deal to us, and makes a good story.

We did have our pictures posted of ourselves. Of course, we only used the best pictures we had. heh. We also did the webcam chat thing, so knew what we each looked like in horribly washed out living color.

[Talindra]

So, Tal, besides a young age, it hasn't really been negative for you.

Actualy. the first guy. almost really got bad.. actualy it did go bad. and it took me a long time to get over the damage done.
I'd guess people bad mouth it cuz you can't see who you're talking to. you don't get to look in their eyes. People tend to believe all can be tell about someone if you can just look at them in the eyes. or something. There are alot of risk. its easy to lie. and its easy to trick. and theres always some dumb girl (like i was lol) who's gonna fall for the lies. Its sooooooo easy to trick. its easy to pretend to be something else.
But theres also the good. Its as safe as it can be horrid.

[TheNoNamedOne]

We also did the webcam chat thing, so knew what we each looked like in horribly washed out living color.

Oh, I forgot all about web cams! Yes, if people are meeting by the internet, then I would say that a web cam meeting should be a prerequisite before meeting face to face.

But, knowing that your now mate is internet date savy, does that cause you to check over his/her shoulder while they are on the internet to see if they have made some net friends -- kinda like you once were in the past before marriage?

[TheNoNamedOne]

Twelve?! Jebus!

LOL! Gee, dk, your daughter could just be 11 years away from her first internet date if she follows in Tal's footsteps.

Probably by then though she would have met the guy in a halogram before real life.

[TheNoNamedOne]

People tend to believe all can be tell about someone if you can just look at them in the eyes. or something. There are alot of risk. its easy to lie. and its easy to trick.

Tal, do you think your bad experience could have been avoided if you had used a web camera at first before meeting -- you know, to look him in the eyes?

[dk]

Yeah, the internet will have changed a lot by then.

My wife and I will be pretty protective. My daughter is going to have the same "no dating till 16" rule I had, and we'll have one computer room in the house.

I'm not that worried.

[Talindra]

lol yeah i guess 12 was really young...but back then i thought 12 was old and i was not a child :P altho i was a child but yeah you know what i mean. heck at 13 i left home and left for a vacation. for one week in quebec (like 7 hours drive from where i live) to meet some friends i had met on internet. like 4 people (my age) Thats prolly young too... And how i got the money for that trip was prolly even worse lol

[dk]

Thats prolly young too... And how i got the money for that trip was prolly even worse lol
:eek::confused::eek::confused:

[Talindra]

Tal, do you think your bad experience could have been avoided if you had used a web camera at first before meeting -- you know, to look him in the eyes?

Well if he had had a cam back then, i wouldn't have been able to say he was smelly... but i could have tell he was horrible looking and not at all liek he had said he was. and that would have atless let me know he was a liar... but by the time i met him i was actualy really taken by him and well... was hard for me to decided if i really wanted to let his uglyness...and smellyness...get in the way of how i felt... and all the lies... gawd.. I was just plain stupid lol and i wanted to believe anything. But i think if i had seen what he looked like before hand... as shallow as it sound.. i wouldn't have fallen for him.

[TheNoNamedOne]

And how i got the money for that trip was prolly even worse lol

You dated older guys on the internet for money so you could go meet guys you met on the internet. Is that right?

My mind is imagining with "worse." ???

[Talindra]

:eek::confused::eek::confused:

Lol dk... the internet is a beatiful thing. At the age of 13 i found out that, sex website pays!! Banners i mean. so i set up a webpage on a free thing... with 10 banners on it. and then load up mIRC and go on those chatrooms where people would run a program that reads text. so i'd copy past my website into thoses chat rooms, and their program would go click on my banners. and i'd be running the exact same program to click on their banners.
back then each click was worth 0.25$. and i'd get 20 click a minut. running 24/7 and that was payed in american money, wich ment double the amount once turned to canadian money.

[TheNoNamedOne]

But i think if i had seen what he looked like before hand... as shallow as it sound.. i wouldn't have fallen for him.

Looks are important. btw, Tal, I was homecoming king and voted Okinawa's most handsome American. Wanna come and visit? <wink>

Perhaps I should send you one of my worn used socks so you can decide if I am smelly.

[Talindra]

Looks are important. btw, Tal, I was homecoming king and voted Okinawa's most handsome American. Wanna come and visit? <wink>

Perhaps I should send you one of my worn used socks so you can decide if I am smelly.

zomg send in your jet I'm packing right now!!!

[dk]

LIAR! I am far more handsome than you!

Here's a pretty recent picture of me. (left)

http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/53/75/0000015375_20060921054907.jpg

[TheNoNamedOne]

back then each click was worth 0.25$. and i'd get 20 click a minut. running 24/7 and that was payed in american money, wich ment double the amount once turned to canadian money.

Wow! You computer savy people!

And what made you retire from it? Not profitable anymore?

[socalheart]

But, knowing that your now mate is internet date savy, does that cause you to check over his/her shoulder while they are on the internet to see if they have made some net friends -- kinda like you once were in the past before marriage?

Not at all. I'm married to him now. I get dibs. :D If he and I are online chatting with other folks, (we have a PC and laptop) we usually talk to each other about what we're chatting about with the other people. We're weird like that.

[DoctorP]

Yeah, the internet will have changed a lot by then.

My wife and I will be pretty protective. My daughter is going to have the same "no dating till 16" rule I had, and we'll have one computer room in the house.

I'm not that worried.

16??? My daughter can't date until she's 23! She has to finish college first, then she can have the key to the chastity belt!

As for meeting on the internet? Which is worse? Meeting on the internet or in a bar? At least if you meet someone on the net, they are usually in their own home...not some place with pee on the floor!
(at least I hope not!:()

[TheNoNamedOne]

zomg send in your jet I'm packing right now!!!

I'm a smooth talker, aren't I?

[Talindra]

I'm a smooth talker, aren't I?

used socks must work on just about any lady!!!

[dk]

16??? My daughter can't date until she's 23! She has to finish college first, then she can have the key to the chastity belt!

As for meeting on the internet? Which is worse? Meeting on the internet or in a bar? At least if you meet someone on the net, they are usually in their own home...not some place with pee on the floor!
(at least I hope not!:()
What I mean is, boys aren't allowed to even talk to my daughter until she's at least 16. She can hug at 20, kiss at 24, and marry at 31.

I think it'd be safer to meet on the net. I think what it boils down to is whether or now you are a good judge of character. It doesn't matter where you meet. If you're a total ditz, you're going to attract the predetors. If you can handle yourself and figure someone out pretty quickly you should be fine no matter where you meet.

But at least on the internet you can chat and chat and chat and chat. You can't even hear yourself talk at most bars on Okinawa.

[Talindra]

Wow! You computer savy people!

And what made you retire from it? Not profitable anymore?

oh well the eventualy caught on to it and droped the click rate to like 0.03$ a click or something liek that lol... besided i had got my trip and had fun. didn't need more money.


And wtc? wont date 'til 16?? 23?? lol you honestly believe, in the world we live in today, that you will be able to tell them not to date and they will listen. Trust me, they will simply do it behind your back.

[TheNoNamedOne]

used socks must work on just about any lady!!!

Yes, and I have VERY LARGE socks. <wink>

[Talindra]

HAhahaha Rawwwrrr!!

[TheNoNamedOne]

I starch my socks so they are nice and stiff.

[Talindra]

Oouuufff!!!
Smelley nice and stiff socks!!! who could wish for more!?!
when can i come over?

[socalheart]

My daughter is going to have the same "no dating till 16" rule...
16??? My daughter can't date until she's 23!

My husband says we're locking our daughter away until she's 30, and there will be no windows big enough to crawl through in her room. ha! :p

[DoctorP]

I starch my socks so they are nice and stiff.

man you are old aren't you...you have to resort to starch now? What brand? Longer Pleasure? :D

[TheNoNamedOne]

My husband says we're locking our daughter away until she's 30, and there will be no windows big enough to crawl through in her room. ha! :p

Boys and girls with lots of free time on their hand and raging adolescent hormones will find a way to easily thwart your plans as you slave away at your work lives.

It's been happening for thousands of years. You are just the latest incarnation of a long line of fathers and mothers experiencing the grief, either knowingly or unknowingly, your sweet daughters being deflowered.

[TheNoNamedOne]

man you are old aren't you...you have to resort to starch now? What brand? Longer Pleasure? :D

Only after I take a cold shower or swim in a cold pool.

[Talindra]

Boys and girls with lots of free time on their hand and raging adolescent hormones will find a way to easily thwart your plans as you slave away at your work lives.

It's been happening for thousands of years. You are just the latest incarnation of a long line of fathers and mothers experiencing the grief, either knowingly or unknowingly, your sweet daughters being deflowered.

awhh so very true.

[P_chan]

Yeah I know I do feel a little embarrassed at times but it really doesn't matter. Especially once you think of the type of people that are on the internet (image of a midget making a woman eat poop while they do the nasty). I didn't meet her on a forum or dating site like that. I got it from a friend of hers and we talked for quite sometime before actually meeting. Not to mention I made sure it was a group date the first time we went out just in case she really was psycho:D

[P_chan]

Now that I go back and actually read some of the posts I noticed the comment on webcams.

Webcams greatly helped my wife and I's relationship once we were just starting out. I went on a 4.5 month TDY about a month after things started to get real serious. Well I told her I would call or at least chat with her online everyday. She tells me now she didn't believe me at first but she was shocked once I actually did just that. I used to wake up at 7:30am states time so I could talk to her after she got off work okinawa time. I used a webcam just about every time I talked to her online and I used the internet phone too. Then I started buying phone cards and probably spent about 60 bucks a WEEK on phone cards alone. But it all paid off because I was able to show her that I was serious and I wanted to stay with her.

:edit: Matter of fact my watch is still set to the time I used to wake up to talk to her. It's been set like that for over a year now. The watch is a G-Shock she actually bought me the watch and sent it to me while I was on TDY. I just can't bring myself to turn off the alarm. This may sound stupid but it reminds me of our past and how we made it through a tough time being apart, I guess

[DoctorP]

I see no problem with internet dating. It's definitely better than hanging out at a bar getting sloshed and spending all of your money, then making a bad decision because you are horny!

[TheNoNamedOne]

:edit: Matter of fact my watch is still set to the time I used to wake up to talk to her. It's been set like that for over a year now. The watch is a G-Shock she actually bought me the watch and sent it to me while I was on TDY. I just can't bring myself to turn off the alarm. This may sound stupid but it reminds me of our past and how we made it through a tough time being apart, I guess

I've never owned anything other than G-shocks. Great watches.

No, the story doesn't sound stupid at all. I think it is little things like that that makes relationships unique. Nice of you to share that little bit of personal info with us.

[Tempestuous]

The thing that makes me leary of internet relationships especially without webcams is the fact you can use your wording to create whatever scenario you like about yourself, your life, your personality.
You also create in your mind the type of person those on the other side are.

Now I have never internet dated by any means, but I have created friendships. Most of the people we are net friends with, we have met in person.
Again like mentioned we have met in public places in broad daylight, etc, etc.
But you can never know for certain they aren't a psycho!

Recently we were recently talkin along the same lines, when the hubby was going to meet a person from an online classifieds ad to look at purchasing a piece of equipment that was a GREAT find/deal.
You know you put a LOT of faith into people you haven't seen face to face, based you decision on an online pic & ad description, and you MIGHT have talked to for a couple minutes on the phone with them.

NOT a lot to go on & what happens if they are a shady person? When you are showing up with a couple hundred dollars in your pocket.....you are relying on a strangers honesty & integrity NOT to kill/attack you and take the $$$.

[Tempestuous]

LOL! Gee, dk, your daughter could just be 11 years away from her first internet date if she follows in Tal's footsteps.

Probably by then though she would have met the guy in a halogram before real life.

I don't even want to start thinking about the technology changes that we will be dealing with when our kids will be dating.

Seriously hoping we have instilled a few good pieces of judgment in our boys....we shall see.

[thistle]

Internet dating, hmmm, I think it is a good way to meet friends and talk about
anything you want, things you cannot even talk about with other people.

As for dating, there are times when I wish I could just go into a bar and meet someone the old fashioned away, so much less complicated.:D

[P_chan]

I would perfer to meet someone the non internet way but hey it happens. I met my wife entirely by coquincidance! Neither of us were really looking we just kinda found each other.

I had a hard time just going to the bar and meeting someone. Most of the girls at bars are not the long relationship type. I'm not saying all of the are girls of ill repute, but a lot of them are.

Funny thing is my wife stopped going ot bars becuase she was sick of only meeting bad guys.

[socalheart]

As for dating, there are times when I wish I could just go into a bar and meet someone the old fashioned away, so much less complicated.:D

Ha! :p To me, the old fashioned way to meet someone is at a church social, at the rodeo, on a hayride, at the soda shop or, if you were one of those kids, at a drag race under the freeway. Yeah, those were my dad's suggestions when I was starting to date. :rolleyes:

I never met a boyfriend at a bar. I met them at school or work. I met other categories of men at a bar though. Those we just call "friends". ;)

[Tempestuous]

Ha! To me, the old fashioned way to meet someone is at a church social, at the rodeo, on a hayride, at the soda shop or, if you were one of those kids, at a drag race under the freeway. Yeah, those were my dad's suggestions when I was starting to date.

I never met a boyfriend at a bar. I met them at school or work. I met other categories of men at a bar though. Those we just call "friends".

LOL
I met my guy by moving in next door to him. :) I don't think....actually I KNOW, his parents weren't too happy about it at the time, there was no break time, we saw each other every day at school & at home.

Nowadays you worry about meeting someone at the bar that will put a date-rape drug in your glass or something.
Such sleazy people around!

How did any of us survive? :rolleyes:

[thistle]

You are quite right Socalheart, probably only once met someone in a bar who became a boyfriend, and I must have just been drunk and given him my tel.no.
Most other people I went out with were people I met through work, or school(as in vocational).

[Talindra]

NOT a lot to go on & what happens if they are a shady person? When you are showing up with a couple hundred dollars in your pocket.....you are relying on a strangers honesty & integrity NOT to kill/attack you and take the $$$.

I say this apply to online shopping or even online dating...
how many people fly over to meet someone they met on the internet?
Heck i did it.
Met a guy from a game I play. We met half way.
who's to say he was not gonna kill me... but then


Nowadays you worry about meeting someone at the bar that will put a date-rape drug in your glass or something.
Such sleazy people around!

Seems to me like the dangers are the same.
Who's to say that next person you meet in a bar wont cut you up to little pieces and leave you by the train track? (happened near where i live..)

no one is safe!!! Imma go board up my windows!!!!!

[Asshat]

Sheesh, I married one and dated a lot from the interent. I am still anxiously waiting that first dose of date rape. Whenever I have received it, I awoke with a lump on my head and a missing wallet.

[socalheart]

funny. i awoke from my internet dating escapade with his wedding ring on my finger and his wallet. :D

[Asshat]

funny. i awoke from my internet dating escapade with his wedding ring on my finger and his wallet. :D

You got out better than I did! Or....was that YOU? lol

[atb35]

LOL< this post is funny. Well some of the stories anyway...Ill add my funny internet dating story to it...

I met a girl online and we talked online for a month or so, started talking on the phone, exchanged pics, etc...One time she even texted me a pic of her right before she was going snowboarding...cute as hell with her little beanie on! I found the perfect girl for me, smart, funny, sarcastic like me, and she would go on fun runs, or biking, hiking and diving with me.

A month or so later, we decided to finally meet. Well...when she got out of her car, that "I just threwup in my mouth a little" quote came true. This girl didnt look ANYTHING like the pics she was sending me. If you were to take Carrot Top, add about 150lbs to him, shrink him to maybe 5 foot nothing, that is pretty much the picture in front of me. Needless to say, that meeting didnt go well, and I was on my way home shortly thereafter.

She pleaded with me on the phone after that stating she sent pics of her sister because she wanted to find out if someone could like her for her, and not how she looked...wtf?? Once I calmed down, I asked her for her sisters number....havent heard from her since...lol.

[socalheart]

dude, atb, that's just wrong on so many levels that it's funny! that's what a webcam is for, dude. ha! :D

[Tempestuous]

I say this apply to online shopping or even online dating...
how many people fly over to meet someone they met on the internet?
Heck i did it.
Met a guy from a game I play. We met half way.
who's to say he was not gonna kill me... but then

You crazy woman!!! :)
......boost wants to know when you are coming down here?



Seems to me like the dangers are the same.
Who's to say that next person you meet in a bar wont cut you up to little pieces and leave you by the train track? (happened near where i live..)

no one is safe!!! Imma go board up my windows!!!!!
ya know, never guaranteed the person you meet at the GROCERY store isn't gonna chop you up into a million pieces. People are just crazy any more. I watch those crime shows, and there is always these features with the wife or husband killed them.....so even if you think its all good and get married.....they could still turn out to be a lunatic.

[Boost]

......boost wants to know when you are coming down here?


ROTFL!!! I just got ratted out by the ole lady! :D

After reading atb35's story though, I think I want a webcam meeting first! :thumbup:

[dk]

She's hot, boost. I've seen her. :p

[Boost]

She's hot, boost. I've seen her. :p

:w00t: Come on man, you can't tease me like that!!!

[Blues]

that was a fun read. :D

I view internet dating sites as just another setting to meet people. while it may be easier to fake your identity, people can lie their ass off in the real world about who they are so it about evens out.

I would say though that finding someone long distance net dating is probably very unliikely and inefficient. Because you have to bet that they also probably have other people queued up behind you to date as well. It's much better to find someone in your local area. Also be wary of scam artists too using peoples emotions to send money.

One upside is that your more likely to find someone who has the same interests and also instant message conversation and e-mail allow you to convey your messages more thoughtfully than just small chat in real life.

A few years ago, before coming to Okinawa I looked around one place, but there arent many in Okinawa. Lots and Lots more in Mainland...

[mrubbermann01]

Yup! Thats all I have to say about that.

[Richard Burns]

Speaking of Internet dating look at these JU Classifieds.

Fri, 10-23-2009 11:32AM
Looking to experiment with some M4M action, if interested, hit me up at okail.com


Fri, 10-23-2009 11:32AM
I'm a 59 y/o married man. I'm a retired Marine. I'm looking for a cute young thing who doesn't mind pleasuring an old man. Japanese or military girl is fine. I'm into dinner, romance and would love a gal to give me a golden shower. G*23il.com

WTF lmao.

[Lowerdeez]

She pleaded with me on the phone after that stating she sent pics of her sister because she wanted to find out if someone could like her for her, and not how she looked....

Haha! That is classic! So she lied to you to see if sending you pictures of somebody hotter than her would make you like her personality more...

Girls should only do that if they're hotter then the let on...not uglier.