At what age did you leave home?

[thistle]

Was just thinking of this when eating lunch, about the difference in Japanese and western society as to when children leave home.
I stayed at home till I was 20, and then left for the big city, but I was working and did of course pay rent and food money to my Mom. I think in the western world people tend to leave home at a much younger age and go to college or start work.
In Japan, it seems to be normal just to live at home with your parents, until such time as you might get married, unless you leave home to go to a University which is far from your home town or actually move to another city.
For those who do just live at home, in their twenties or even thirty, I wonder how much they pay in food and rent(if any) to their parents.

[dk]

I left at 18, came back at 21 and left again at 22. I'm hoping my daughter sticks around till she's at least 35. :P

[DoctorP]

I left home at 17 for college and tooled around for a year, then joined the Army. Only been back 3 times since I was 17!

[socalheart]

I left home at 14 for boarding school. I stayed with my parents during the summers, but worked those summers as well. My folks paid for school, but I had to work for the rest of it.

A friend of mine is 30 with two kids and a live-in boyfriend, who ALL stay at her parents' house. She isn't even Japanese or living in Japan. sigh...

[quietasariot]

I left at 17, and never went back. My parents did not pay for a thing after I moved out. I do hope that my daughter is happier than I was living at home, and stays home till she's done with college (but she's only 2 1/2 right now, so of course it will be a while)!

[P_chan]

I left at age 22. I was pretty much on my own since age 20 though. I lived with my mom, but I came and went as I pleased, and I payed for my own food.

[Boost]

I left when I was 19 and have only gone back to visit. Would have left sooner, but thought it would be smarter to get my sh*t together before heading out. Did not want to have to make a return trip because I was unprepared!

[Tempestuous]

I was 16, I lived with someone else's parents for 2 yrs and was out just after turning 18.

[thistle]

Here is where I find one of the big differences in Japanese and western society, and why I find japanese more immature than their western counterparts. I think it is all part of their upbringing, it seems like they are protected and nurtured in their home until much later than we are. Everything is done for them, their University fees are paid for them, their apartment fees are paid for them, and they are not expected to do much chores around the house as they have so much studying they have to do.

Of course, there are families who struggle to provide all of this, and a lot of the students do do part-time jobs while going to college. I do think, however they have a much easier lot than a lot of people in the west do.

[StreetBiker]

i was 18 when i left for the AF and go back once and a while.

[Fairlady]

18. . and proud of it.

[coldnoodles]

I disappeared when I was 18 and never went back and never will!

[Muku]

Went away to a boarding school for HS and never returned afterwards. Let me clarify that, not to live but only to visit. So I was 14.

[heather]

I left home when i was 17 for basic training and have been living on my own for the past 5 years now. i love every moment of it too

[Muku]

I left home when i was 17 for basic training and have been living on my own for the past 5 years now. i love every moment of it too
Let me guess you are not in the Marine Corps are you?:)

[jazzybelle]

Left when I was 18 tried to do my own thing for 4 years then decided to join the military. Should have just joined at 18. Oh wells!

[heather]

i was 17 when i left home to join the AF and i have been back just to visit, i will never live near home again.

[blacktulip]

Here is where I find one of the big differences in Japanese and western society, and why I find japanese more immature than their western counterparts. I think it is all part of their upbringing, it seems like they are protected and nurtured in their home until much later than we are. Everything is done for them, their University fees are paid for them, their apartment fees are paid for them, and they are not expected to do much chores around the house as they have so much studying they have to do.

Of course, there are families who struggle to provide all of this, and a lot of the students do do part-time jobs while going to college. I do think, however they have a much easier lot than a lot of people in the west do.

You'll find that it's like this in most Asian cultures, but it is definitely not easier than people in the west! I have an Asian upbringing, my parents paid for everything until the day I graduated from University (I didn't want to but they insisted). I did leave home for boarding school at 13 and never went back to living with them. Now I'm paying them 80% of my salary for their "troubles" while bringing me up (which will continue for the rest of my life)! In Asian culture, you're expected to pay them back, some parents make ridiculous demands and you're expected to obey.

[Muku]

In Asian culture, you're expected to pay them back, some parents make ridiculous demands and you're expected to obey

Could you please share with us here which Asian culture you are refering to here in your post or are you generalizing about all Asian cultures?:)

[P_chan]

lucky I didn't have to pay my wife's parents once we got married. They said since I'm not japanese that I wouldn't have to pay it.

The whole paying for your wife or paying back your parents for living with them is freaking ridiculous! Come on it's your responsibility to take are of your children, not expect them to pay you back.

[blacktulip]

Could you please share with us here which Asian culture you are refering to here in your post or are you generalizing about all Asian cultures?:)

Chinese, but my Japanese, Korean, Indonesian, Malay, Vietnamese, Burmese and Indian friends're all doing the same thing!
I should have said most Asian cultures, oh well.

[dk]

Hmmm. Does this stop after you're married? Because I'm not paying my wife's parents a penny and she's from mainland Japan. :p

[blacktulip]

lucky I didn't have to pay my wife's parents once we got married. They said since I'm not japanese that I wouldn't have to pay it.

The whole paying for your wife or paying back your parents for living with them is freaking ridiculous! Come on it's your responsibility to take are of your children, not expect them to pay you back.

Lucky you! My parents expect me to marry someone rich so he can pay everything for me (and I can give them all my money), and they wonder why I'm still unmarried.

[blacktulip]

Hmmm. Does this stop after you're married? Because I'm not paying my wife's parents a penny and she's from mainland Japan. :p

The husband is not usually expected to pay the wife's parents, but he's expected to pay everything for his wife, and the daughter is expected to pay the parents. Some parents're better than others, unfortunately I'm not those lucky ones.

[chobi]

I left my parents house when I was 21 and came to Okinawa from mainland Japan.

[DoctorP]

Why did you leave mainland for Okinawa Chobi?

[Muku]

Hmmm. Does this stop after you're married? Because I'm not paying my wife's parents a penny and she's from mainland Japan. :p

I live in Japan and the parents here dont try to squeeze blood out of a rock you know.

some parents make ridiculous demands and you're expected to obey.
That sounds more like Chinese than Japanese btw.

[blacktulip]

I live in Japan and the parents here dont try to squeeze blood out of a rock you know.


That sounds more like Chinese than Japanese btw.

No I didn't know, I only based what I said from what I know about my Japanese friend and what he told me, so if that's incorrect I retract my comment, and thanks for letting me know it's not a common practice over there.
When I said "demand" it doesn't limit to finance, it can be other aspects of your life, e.g. the person you marry, what you study in uni etc.

[Fonze]

I was 18 when i came home one day and my few belongings were outside and my mother and father said, son its time to move on, they gave me money for a deposit and first months rent and kissed me goodbye. Iv'e never returned but to visit. I never borrowed money from them and I think it made me stronger as an individual. They didn't just kick me out, they said ur never home so you might as well keep it movin.

[socalheart]

Chinese, but my Japanese, Korean, Indonesian, Malay, Vietnamese, Burmese and Indian friends're all doing the same thing!
I should have said most Asian cultures, oh well.

I'm half Vietnamese from my mother's side, and never heard about the monetary "repayment clause" of growing up. Instead, my mother bases repayment on guilt not money. I've been guilted into things for as long as I can remember. On the other hand, my dad who's American, is happy for me to keep him in "the lifestyle he's accustomed to" when he retires. :p Luckily, dad is good to go with a big comfy bed and chair to watch a big tv near a big, fully stocked kitchen.

[Muku]

No I didn't know, I only based what I said from what I know about my Japanese friend and what he told me, so if that's incorrect I retract my comment, and thanks for letting me know it's not a common practice over there.
When I said "demand" it doesn't limit to finance, it can be other aspects of your life, e.g. the person you marry, what you study in uni etc.
No need to apologize here, sure some parents attempt to influence the people their children marry however the days of arranged marriages are pretty much over. I suppose that could also be said for other cultures as well too. Unless of course the child can't find someone on their own, some still go the arranged route.

[chobi]

Why did you leave mainland for Okinawa Chobi?

I was tired of busy life in Osaka. I wanted to have better slow life in tropical island like Okinawa.

[atb35]

I joined the Navy two weeks out of HS and have only been back for my parents funerals.

I wish Americans would have to pay for their wives...at least I would have got a refund when we got divorced!

[Brett23iu]

I was out at 19 then back at 22 for a month till I came into the military

[Hollarey]

I ran away at 18. Yeah...ran away...lol. My parents were extremely strict and even after I graduated I still couldnt do a single thing. So I packed a bag, said I was going to the pool, and didnt come back. I moved in with my friend, her boyfriend and my boyfriend. However, moved back in with parents 3mths later but they lightened up a whole lot. Stayed there another year while hubby was at basic and tech school and then have been away since.

[N3philum]

I "moved out" at 18.. But I pretty much stopped living at my hosue when i was 16. Didnt like the house, the situation with my mom and her boyfriend. Decided to leave. I came back once in a while to get some things or to make sure everything was okay.. or to take a shower :) but thats pretty much it.

[Cathleen_38]

I was 21 when I left home for the Marines in 1990. I graduated in 1987. My mother told me I needed get out on my own and experience life well, I did.
got into trouble with a DUI and had to move back home for 10 years but I have learned my lesson well, I don't drink anymore. I have gone to church to get baptized and I turned my life around. I stay sober. I've got more responsibilities now and don't have time to get trashed like I used to. I lived okinawa and used to hang out at the bars til God knows when, but even then I paid a price for the way I acted back then. I'm a changed person now. I still drink occassionally but don't let it get out of hand. it's matter controlling your alcohol and not letting it control you. it's a state of mind. DUI's in Ohio will cost you over 1500.00 dollars when you add up everything. it's not worth it to me to hang out in bars and get in fist fights and I've had a few of those too. And quite frankly, those buttholes deserved every bit, but it doesn't excuse my drunken stupidity either. I came out of this pretty wised up.

[Cathleen_38]

which is better? Base Housing or Off base Housing? Things have changed alot in the last 14 years. :ohmy::ohmy: I love OKinawa!<3<3

[Galina]

Left home when I was 14 and traveled all over the world. Explored and blah blah. Settled in Okinawa when I was 18, came of age at 21 with my Japanese family there, met an American and left. I did not consider Africa my home. More so Okinawa, So I say I left my <3 home when I was like 26. Against my Japanese family wishes. And yes they do protect and nurture.

[prekteacher]

im 20, and i am moving out in about two weeks. i'm asian, my dad's japanese, mom's filipina, and my dad says that once i leave the house that i can't step in his house (in which i pay rent) or see his face anymore. i've lived in the same house with him for only two years. he also says that if i choose to marry my boyfriend (who is my fiance now) that he will disown me.

i don't know what it is about japanese dads, but i've heard a similar story from a friend. i think this "disowning" thing is normal to the japanese. i don't know because i didn't grow up here.

[happily_married_1206]

I left when i was 18 and came back 6 months later because something in my life had not panned out the way it was supposed to... its my backs fault... anyway i came back and then 5 months later i got married and moved out and ive been out and about ever since! :D

wendy

[Mad Hatter]

I went to a boarding school when I was 13... Never really been back except the time that I spent with my Dad in FL. Other than that... I was the only pewrson looking out for me. But I have to say, I missed alot of the things that people talk about growing up. I wish I could of had a better experience in some parts of my life, but I bet most of us could say the same thing I guess. But all the other times... I wouldn't trade for the world!

[smhersweetie]

Left home when I was 17....got married!!

[swindland]

I left home at 21 after i got married!!!!:thumbup:

[DocTurtle]

18, when I joined the military :army:

[datightest]

i left for college after highschool. i enjoyed living at home. wow i'm so boring. why are all you guys so cool and rebellious?

[okisteve]

I left when I was 19. It was kind of a big shock to be legal drinking age in NY and then have to wait 2 more years in CA! Especially when I was hitting on older girls and lying about my age, and then having to make excuses for not going to bars.

[newboki]

Moved out at 18 before I finished high school, had my oldest son at 19, got married at 34. Never looked back beause I knew my mother would never let me!!

[Kamya]

I never had to leave home my parents got orders to Germany when I had just turned 18 and they left me the furnished house and a car and I guess you could say went on vacation for four years! So glad they had time to enjoy their time alone and it gave me time to mature and learn responsiblity and be the strong woman I am today! I sure did miss them though!

[kombu_kid]

I joined the Corps at age 19, did 4 yrs in that fine organization, then been working ever since.