What do you think of this? [Archive]

watzitoou

12-25-2007, 09:53 PM

If you were pregnant and met someone else, and after you had the baby the new step-father turned to be very abusive on the child and sent the baby's biological father to prison many times for made up things, and paid him $$$$$ every month to stay away from his daughter, if he came close to his daughter he would go back to jail.

Year's past, the biological father comes back he said he was dying of lung cancer to see his daughter during Christmas. The daughter wasn't allowed to talk to him or would be punished. The father told the daughter he had a brother in Hawaii and gave her his walkman. The next day Christmas Eve, called to his daughter, her mom said she will pay him to leave now. The daughter never saw her father again. For the walkman the step father burned it, and beat her for talking to him. For many years after that, the mother always changed his name and information about him. When she was 17 left her locked in a room so they can go on vacation to Alaska. Well the girl broke out of the room, destroyed the house, disappeared. She found the birth certificate, father's birth certificate, adoption papers, and the checkbook.

Years past, she found her father they day he was murdered, and found her grandma. Her uncle called and told her the news before he was murdered, or he called suicide. A lady in Colorado returned her mail with her phone #, she called it. That lady told her to call her sisters for the information she was looking for. Since she ran into a dead zone, she asked her mom, and until this day her mom is full of Shignits always different names, and it never ends.

Now wouldn't the girl have rights to know who her sister's are? Where? The money is still going somewhere, who is it going too?

okisteve

12-26-2007, 04:19 AM

Watzit, yknow, if you hadn't said so much about your screwed-up dysfunctional parents/stepparents, I would never ask this: but is horror story this about someone you know or are family to?

watzitoou

12-26-2007, 10:54 AM

Watzit, yknow, if you hadn't said so much about your screwed-up dysfunctional parents/stepparents, I would never ask this: but is horror story this about someone you know or are family to?

Either way what do you think about it?

DougP

12-26-2007, 11:32 AM

Either way what do you think about it?

Therapy: Counseling Counseling Counseling Counseling Counseling ....... I think everyone in that story or whatever it is you posted needs it and needs it a lot. :(

okisteve

12-26-2007, 11:36 AM

Either way what do you think about it?

As I said, "screwed-up, dysfunctional", and "horror story"?:scared: Those people need to be taken off the streets.

If you're asking for some recommendation, I'd say just what Doug just said. You seem also to have a real hairtrigger anger issue (going back to a post on the food thread), but maybe that's understandable given who raised you or didn't, as the case may be.

Asshat

12-26-2007, 11:46 AM

Or just move on with life.....

watzitoou

12-26-2007, 12:06 PM

I understand "screwed-up, dysfunctional", and "horror story"? Yeppers thats my parents!! I have always told people they are dead, to me they are, normal parents aren't like that.

Counseling I remember those days...still everything was my fault..my parents were too good not to get counseling cuz they are just so perfect in their eyes :scared: Either way I was their punching bag for talking.

I am not looking for recommendations, nothing can ever help them.

Hmong people saved my life from them, they have always been my family. Always hiding me from my parents...

My parents are only nice when something is up, fishy. Example: my daughter who is 1/2 hmong, my so called parents found us and contacted my ex-husband told him where we were at, the first time he burned her hand to the bone, the 2nd time he found us thanks to my parents he kidnapped her trying to sell her. They only come here when my husband is deployed.

I just want to know where is the money going to each month, why does my mom always change her story about my dad. I already know the truth about my dad and what they did to him. Don't I have a right to know?

watzitoou

12-26-2007, 12:15 PM

Or just move on with life.....

I have moved on long ago, just been looking for my sister(s) and trying to find out where $$$$$ is going to each month. Why everything is so top secret to them. My mom always changing information about my dad.

If my parents were to hit me in public here in Okinawa, would it fall under SOFA law or Japanese law? whats the punishment?

Asshat

12-26-2007, 12:16 PM

I just want to know where is the money going to each month, why does my mom always change her story about my dad. I already know the truth about my dad and what they did to him. Don't I have a right to know?

Okay then:

Is it your money? If it isn't don't worry about it.

If you know the truth about your father, why are you concerned with what your mother says?

As an adult, you have the right to do any damn thing you want to do.

okisteve

12-26-2007, 12:19 PM

Watzit,

I wasn't sure you were telling your own story there. Pretty horrible, all right, and I'm very glad you got to where you are now.

The thing about counseling is that you can only make one person do counseling, and that is yourself. Too late for those scummy parents, anyway, but you're young and I think if you had some wise advice you could really salvage your emotional life. I am not a counselor, just speaking as someone with a lot of experience with it and has gotten a lot of good from it.

I have no idea what resources are available to you as a military spouse, but I'd guess there are some options that won't cost much. On the other hand, sometimes if you have to pay for it, you value it more. If you ever want a recommendation for a local, non-military counselor, woman native English speaker, just ask.

P_chan

12-26-2007, 12:21 PM

Wow your mom slaps you? Your a grown woman right? I wouldn't let that slide.

Asshat

12-26-2007, 12:27 PM

Wow your mom slaps you? Your a grown woman right? I wouldn't let that slide.

I am just....speechless. I am shocked in wonder at why or how it is that Waiz is so powerless. This explains some of her earlier posts.

Waiz, no offence, but really, you should seek some professional advice on this. After all, you have kids who now need you and yet you suffer from things that will hinder your ability to be there.

atb35

12-26-2007, 08:41 PM

Mad Hatter

12-26-2007, 10:10 PM

okisteve

12-26-2007, 10:13 PM

Mad Hatter

12-26-2007, 10:18 PM

Mad Hatter, the stepdad doesn't even sound well-enough adjusted to be in the military!

You'd be surprised how military guys sometimes take out their anger on waiting kids and wives. Command pisses them off... then BAMMMM... Ask TP... I'm sure he has an article or two stuff away fro this sort of thing.

kombu_kid

12-26-2007, 10:49 PM

Sorry, but this sounds like the most B.S. story I ever heard.

If it was true......I would just "eliminate" the problem.

Mad Hatter

12-26-2007, 11:03 PM

The Kid does have a point

DougP

12-26-2007, 11:45 PM

Too bad the game of life doesn't have a reset button or any cheat codes huh?:)

I know I'm definitely not buying the sequel.:D

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 12:05 AM

I am just....speechless. I am shocked in wonder at why or how it is that Waiz is so powerless. This explains some of her earlier posts.

Waiz, no offence, but really, you should seek some professional advice on this. After all, you have kids who now need you and yet you suffer from things that will hinder your ability to be there.

My mom has never slapped me, the only thing she really did was after my step-dad beat me, she would kick me in my ribs or kick and slam a door on my head and tell me I was grounded for 6mo+!! I use to always carry a 9mm on me, I am not afraid to use it! All my friends carry guns, so if my parents ever came after me or my family, my friends would handle it.

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 12:32 AM

In my world, I would hang your stepfather by his nuts, and beat your mom a few dozen times for being stupid enough to allow the abuse.

In the real world though, personally, I would never talk to them again, or ever contact them, or want my children to talk to them again.

I never call them, but my husband's car is at their house, cuz they like him - only cuz he is military. Which doesn't make any sense to me, here they have always been against asians. They liked my ex-hmong husband cuz he beats women, my parents had alot in common with him. All my asian boyfriends, my parents we so disrespectfull and plain out rude to them. Since I married my current husband, they added us to their wills.. we get invited to holidays and birthdays. I have even made it on my Grandma's will, which is pretty scary. I was on my Great Grandma's will, I was suppose to get her house, since I took care of her/she took care of me. The family didn't want asians living there. :thumbdown: So they had the will changed without notifiying me and sold the house.

Each time we move I don't give them my address or phone #, but they always find us. My husband hasn't talked to his mom for 9yrs, :ohmy: I am not filipina, and he doesn't have his master degree's like his cousins in the Philippines. His mom calls red cross looking for us, or goes thru the military to locate him. Every so often she will call me to pay me off to leave him and to have his name taken off the kids birth certificate, she doesn't know about my 2yr old. I know she would be calling before our 10th year anniversary she doesn't want me to get 1/2 of his pay.

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 12:40 AM

Do you think that you need help? How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Something tells me that your Stepdad is in the military, and they are with you now. That's just what I got from the question about them hitting you over here... and the Japanese Law thing. That tells me that you are over here with them now. If you are with them, that means that you are alot younger than I first thought. It's hard to say what anyone would think about the story that you wrote about. Of course everyone is going to be upset about the abuse, people are going to say that you need help, but I think you are already a strong individual for running the way that you did. I really hope everything works out for ya in the long run...

I don't think I need help...my so called parents need to wake up while they are falling off of a cliff, maybe then they may realize life. I am here in Oki and loving it...far far away from them. My parents live in the states. My mom already arrived on island and I already got my 2 hour lecture tonight. It went in 1 ear and took a detour out the other ear. I thought it was funny, she just came here to accuse me of stupid things. My husband told me to be nice to her, his car is at her house, my 1/2 brother called me to tell me he felt sorry for me, and told me to be extra nice so she won't come back.

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 01:22 AM

Mad Hatter, the stepdad doesn't even sound well-enough adjusted to be in the military!

As for Watzit needing help or not, maybe she'll work that out for herself. I'd like to ask her one thing though: are you a happy person?

Actually my step-day said he use to be in the army, stationed in Thailand, he said he was a welder. If he was stationed in Thailand why hasn't he ever heard of the Secret War or Hmong Secret War? I don't believe he was in the army.

I am always happy, my japanese friends here tell me I am always too happy, never sad. I always try and make other's happy. In the states I use to give everyone red roses, people I didn't know, elderly people, people of all colors, just to see them smile. I have taught my girls to do the same.

kombu_kid

12-27-2007, 02:05 AM

I'm getting a Coldnoodles vibe here.:D

P_chan

12-27-2007, 05:55 AM

All my friends carry guns, so if my parents ever came after me or my family, my friends would handle it.

They carry guns over here? Sounds kinda like a load of bull to me. Especially knowing how much trouble you can get in here by just having a gun.

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 09:36 AM

They carry guns over here? Sounds kinda like a load of bull to me. Especially knowing how much trouble you can get in here by just having a gun.

NO, all my friends in the states carry guns, gang protection. Over here in Oki I am FREE from from my parents!! Since I have been married I can't/won't have a gun, I don't want my husband to get in trouble.

Sorry I didn't word it perfectly for you, but I use to carry a gun and my friends/cousins in the states carry guns/cholo's, LB Maffia, MOD, TMC, Is that better?

Takako

12-27-2007, 09:41 AM

Did this happen in real life or just in your head?

atb35

12-27-2007, 09:56 AM

You should have your friends go to your parents, lean like a cholo and threaten them to leave you alone. If that doesnt work, cut them up in small pieces and feed them to starving children in Ethiopia......

*no, im not serious...

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 10:35 AM

Did this happen in real life or just in your head?

Oh sorry its real life..
I have been writing a book on it.

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 10:38 AM

You should have your friends go to your parents, lean like a cholo and threaten them to leave you alone.

My friends have already done something like that thru out the years.

ststephen65

12-27-2007, 11:04 AM

im without words.....

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 11:08 AM

Watzit,
I wasn't sure you were telling your own story there. Pretty horrible, all right, and I'm very glad you got to where you are now.

I have no idea what resources are available to you as a military spouse, but I'd guess there are some options that won't cost much. On the other hand, sometimes if you have to pay for it, you value it more. If you ever want a recommendation for a local, non-military counselor, woman native English speaker, just ask.

First off, you never want to go on base for counseling, or any kind of help that matter. Back in the day, 11yrs ago, I was working for a Crisis nursery, people called in they were going to abuse their kids or afraid they were going too so they call the nursery. Since I have lots of experience with it being the victim, my job was to talk them out of it and have them bring their kids the nursery, the kids were allowed to stay up to 72hrs while the parents cooled off. Here I worked there for almost 3yrs as a full-time volunteer. I was suppose to report any bruises or anything noticeable on the kids. Some kids I noticed the parent beat their kids and then called to bring them in. While I was volunteering there, I took the daycare classes on base trying to get licensed, past all that. I had to go to mental health to get it signed off, they went thru my medical records and it stated I was abused child.

Got my license and turned out I had a license, but wasn't allowed to watch kids. I fought that, I had letters from so many people and everyone from the Crisis Nursery. It got changed I can have 1 kid only and has to be supervised. I fought that, thats discrimination. Then they said cuz I had pipes in my basement, and alot of the abuse was in the basement. I am scared to death of basement and pipes. I don't go down there. Kids aren't even allowed in a basement. So I was back at having no kids. I brought my State Reps in, fought it, I was told by mental health I could work at the CDC's only. I thought it was BS, but thats the military. Here I was a full-time volunteer for a Crisis Nursery and I worked fulltime somewhere else, on weekends I volunteered for the church nursery's, and on base I wasn't allowed to watch kids.

Hollarey

12-27-2007, 11:40 AM

Seriously, these people are toxic in your life. You dont not need them. You can forgive but I wouldnt let them back in your life regardless.

Hollarey

12-27-2007, 11:46 AM

Also, are these the same parents that are coming to visit you? If so, why the hell are you going out of your way to accommodate them. I would tell them to go **** themselves.

devine

12-27-2007, 11:57 AM

Counseling I remember those days...still everything was my fault..my parents were too good not to get counseling cuz they are just so perfect in their eyes :scared: Either way I was their punching bag for talking.

I understand how you feel 10 fold. I been there in my own way.
If you feel you would like to know who your siblings are then I would try to do what you can without disrupting your Step Father and mother this could only cause you more problems. If you can find out that would be wonderful and maybe even closure for you.

If I was you, I would seek counseling on my own forget your parents think of yourself and your future. Just to break it all out and possible find ways of letting it go. Cause if not it could eat at you.

If you choose to go the other route and not knowing your sisters then that is another option. You need to do what is right for you and not just what you think they would want. If they know about you, they will come find you too.

Hope this helps,
Dev.

devine

12-27-2007, 12:08 PM

You'd be surprised how military guys sometimes take out their anger on waiting kids and wives. Command pisses them off... then BAMMMM... Ask TP... I'm sure he has an article or two stuff away fro this sort of thing.

Mad Hatter, your right and my husband at times will snap at MY daughter everyone now and then, thankfully I am able to get onto him about it. But he doesn't hurt her physically but does yell at her and that really hurts her feelings. It's not on things I think warrants him yelling at her. I have no idea what his day was like, but I will say he was not allowed to talk to her for the remainder of the night. And if he can't control his temper with my kids then he will find himself a new wife. I don't take kindly to abuse of any kind!! I been through to much of it on my own and I swore my children would never know what it was.

Dev.

Asshat

12-27-2007, 12:32 PM

I don't take kindly to abuse of any kind!! I been through to much of it on my own and I swore my children would never know what it was.

Hey, you could call Family Advocacy on him. Tell them he's being abusive. Guarenteed to keep him in mandatory Nice Daddy training for at least a year, and looks great when you sue for divorce. Great leverage in whittling out as much retirement pay as you can from him.

This smart-assed post is in response to the one about how "military guys sometimes take out their anger on waiting kids and wives.."

atb35

12-27-2007, 02:06 PM

What you should do is have them create an account here and we could make them feel like crap and cry, then they will never bother you again.

P_chan

12-27-2007, 02:14 PM

NO, all my friends in the states carry guns, gang protection. Over here in Oki I am FREE from from my parents!! Since I have been married I can't/won't have a gun, I don't want my husband to get in trouble.

Sorry I didn't word it perfectly for you, but I use to carry a gun and my friends/cousins in the states carry guns/cholo's, LB Maffia, MOD, TMC, Is that better?

Don't snap at me once you fail to make up....er......include important details. Maybe you should write it the correct way the first time. After all, why would you leave out the important point that your friends carry guns IN THE STATES!

Oh yeah, and nothing like "shooting" your problems away:rolleyes:

kombu_kid

12-27-2007, 10:27 PM

The daughter wasn't allowed to talk to him or would be punished. The father told the daughter he had a brother in Hawaii and gave her his walkman.

I guess she was only allowed to listen.

The daughter never saw her father again.

Until.......

Years past, she found her father they day he was murdered

She should have been a suspect.

When she was 17 left her locked in a room so they can go on vacation to Alaska.

I hope she stocked up on food.

Her uncle called and told her the news before he was murdered, or he called suicide

"Your Dad was murdered......well, not quite yet".

Now wouldn't the girl have rights to know who her sister's are? Where? The money is still going somewhere, who is it going too?

Is it further to L.A., or by bus?

watzitoou

12-27-2007, 11:07 PM

If you feel you would like to know who your siblings are then I would try to do what you can without disrupting your Step Father and mother this could only cause you more problems. If you can find out that would be wonderful and maybe even closure for you.

Hope this helps,
Dev.

I have been going out on my own since 1990. When I found out I have sister(s). Somehow I keep running into people, somehow my parents find out who I am looking for, and problems start.