Chuck Norris

[DocTurtle]

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

The man, the myth, the legend!

[dk]

Oldie but a goodie. :D

[P_chan]

You know, at first I used to think the chuck norris jokes were stupid. Now I think I'm starting to like them. But still, some of them are just plain retarded.

[ststephen65]

yeah, funny as shit

[dk]

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Hehehehe I really like this one. :D
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
:D :D

[kombu_kid]

Man, I thought some of those were funny as hell. I laughed out loud on some of 'em. Shows I appreciate retarded humor. Hell, Dumb & Dumber is one of my favorite movies!

[dk]

Man, I thought some of those were funny as hell. I laughed out loud on some of 'em. Shows I appreciate retarded humor. Hell, Dumb & Dumber is one of my favorite movies!
Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? :thumbup:

[kombu_kid]

Okay, and this is no B.S. My son downloaded that clip onto his PSP. (Being serious gets old real fast.)

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

This is a good one, as well as the orphanage one....

[DougP]

YouTube - Chuck norris en padre de familia

[DougP]

YouTube - Chuck Norris Reads Chuck Norris Jokes

[DocTurtle]

I think it's awesome that he actually has been to the site and picked out his top 10 favs.

[P_chan]

Funny vidoes:thumb up:

I like this one:

"Chuck Norris gave mona lisa that smile"

and this one:

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allowed to live"

[P_chan]

Oh and you know he was in the air force right:thumbup:

[dk]

"Chuck Norris gave mona lisa that smile"
Nuh uh!!! I gave mona lisa her smile!!! :cool:

[jrocka83]

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

[eelecurb]

http://www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg
Boo!

[jrocka83]

Boo!

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e22/Uson770/chuck-norris-says.gif

[eelecurb]

http://www.realmagazine.com/new/graphics/cashfinger.jpg

Johnny Cash was the baddest man on the planet.

10 Reasons Why Johnny Cash owns Chuck Norris:
Reason 1.
Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris

Reason 2.
Johnny didn’t have to fight to be a bad ass. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar.

Reason 3.
Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.

Reason 4.
Chuck wasn’t the first of his kind to kick ass. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest.

Reason 5.
When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad’s cotton fields. That is a true bad ass. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life.

Reason 6.
Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was.

Reason 7.
Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn’t trust that son of a bitch. When Johnny didn’t trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on.

Reason 8.
Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to **** off in his own house.

Reason 9.
Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn’t turn to gold. In the 80’s, he made a song called “Chicken in Black” to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular.

Reason 10.
Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn’t stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's ass is easy compared to kicking a drug's ass.
http://www.shoutwire.com/comments/27579/10_Reason_Why_Johnny_Cash_Owns_Chuck_Norris

[dk]

Johnny Cash wins that one, hands down.

[Gposh]

The Official Chuck Norris Rap

Language Warning!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPjQlkkhDcI

[shawncot]

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the earth and slap himself in the back of the head!!