F**kin birds

[Fonze]

Okay so for the last 3 months these motherf**ckin birds have been shiting on my car. I have never done shit to these rats with wings and continually they shit on my car. I wash it once a week yet they continue to leave about 4 to 7 shits on it. I (knew) where they lived and left them alone.

So last week I left my windows rolled down and they took a shit in my car. I let it pass. Yesterday I left windows down just about 5 inches and these mofos did it again. I thought we had a deal (Sienfeld episode).

Well since i knew where they lived I decided to pay them a visit and took my saw. I am happy to say they don't live there anymore. Two bird couples and there nests were completely destroyed. How do I know it was them? Cause I saw them over all this time. I wish they had eggs so I could've fed them to my nieghborhood cat. The whole tree will come down soon so they don't return.

I thought we had a deal, my nieghbors never had a problem. WTF they brought this upon themselves.

[keera4]

I am soo sorry about your bird problem. I have one too, the come shit on my balcony and anything else that is out there. What pisses me off is the I am not allowed to put up barriers to keep them out, but my neighbours in the towers on the other side of the river are.

[dk]

Okay so for the last 3 months these motherf**ckin birds have been shiting on my car.
My vote for quote of the week.

[smhersweetie]

My vote for quote of the week.

I completely agree!! Was too funny!!

Sorry Fonze that the birds are messing with you.

[TheNoNamedOne]

If the birds are always shitting on your car, then perhaps they are trying to tell you something.

[Fonze]

There about to get a rock in there faces with my sling shot that will tell them something.

[TheNoNamedOne]

But what do you think they are trying to tell you?

[Fonze]

I don't know bird man, maybe you can tell me. Honestly i have never done anything to them I even stopped trimming my tree when they moved in.

[TheNoNamedOne]

Maybe the places where you kept parking your car was causing too much reflection from your windshield into their shaded tree.

[Fonze]

Well good suggestion I never thought about that. Well I'm sure they can find a new home in the 2 other trees I have and if they do that then I might change my parking habits

[socalheart]

I know what you're going through. Your problem makes me chuckle though. You're lucky to be able to cut down the tree that the birds use to perch. I've had birds perch in the carport rafters and do the same.

[TheNoNamedOne]

Did the birds do this good of a job, Fonze?

http://animalradio.com/BirdPoopCar.332.jpg

[Crazysix]

just use a break up some alkaseltzer tabs and live them around the lawn, 2-3 days no birds. they use to do this with pigeons and seagulls where im from,just leaves a bloody mess but no more birds

[kombu_kid]

TP is not amused!

[P_chan]

yes, you should change your lifestyle to suit some bird in your trees! Honestly, if it was the states, I would have just parked somewhere else. But know the parking situation here, yeah I would have done the same.

[socalheart]

dude... heinous... feeding alkaseltzer to birds? that's kinda harsh... and messy. at least to me it is.

[TheNoNamedOne]

I wouldn't go the poisoning route for this problem. The last thing you'd need is to have 20 birds dead around your yard and the government to freak out thinking avian bird flu has struck your area and quarantine it and force all of you guys in that area for check up.

Also, if a rare bird is killed and someone reports it and it is discovered that someone was poisoning them on their own it could lead to some problems if you ever came under suspicion for it.

And I doubt you'd like to be one of the stars in the JU News Bot columns here. Just some thoughts for you to think of as an adult here and what rammifications could come from poisoning actions.

[P_chan]

I'm pretty sure birds don't explode once they die of avian flu. That would be a huge warning flag that it's not avian flu.

[Fonze]

Did the birds do this good of a job, Fonze?

http://animalradio.com/BirdPoopCar.332.jpg

If they did this then there would be bird carcasas all over my lawn. I'm not at the point of hunting them yet but hopefully with there recent relocation or forced evacuation we can all get along now.

[DoctorP]

If the birds are always shitting on your car, then perhaps they are trying to tell you something.

Maybe they were saying he has a shitty car??:D

[Tempestuous]

IN your car?!?!??! GROSS!!!!!! That's worse than dealing with having to wash the car.

[TheNoNamedOne]

Let's just hope they aren't preparing for something more than just cars.

http://mariewin.server304.com/marieblog/uploaded_images/bird_poop-715086.jpg

[themadscientist]

I had some bird shit in my car. I wasn't even mad, it was so rediculous I just laughed. Now I did get personally shit on by a pigeon in front of my house. I took care of that problem. Pigeons used to hang out in front of my house, now the word is out, haven't seen one in over a year. :mad:

[dk]

Never been shat on by a pigeon, but I've been nailed by a bat. Man, that pissed me off because it was so unexpected...

[P_chan]

I've never been shit on by an airborn animals. I did see someone get peed on by one of the fruit bats over here.:D

[dk]

I've never been shit on by an airborn animals. I did see someone get peed on by one of the fruit bats over here.:D
Oh man, this just reminded me. I was shat on by a HUGE bird at a zoo in Australia when I was a kid lmao. Felt like someone threw a bag of flour at my shoulder! It was just BAM messy shirt.

[themadscientist]

I would prefer bird shit over bat shit. That stuff is hard to clean off and relly jacks up the paint. :mad:

[Muku]

Okay so for the last 3 months these motherf**ckin birds have been shiting on my car

Thing that surprised me the most here is that you waited 3 frickin months to finally do something about it.:-|

Shotgun.......rocksalt.......fried yard bird........cheap meal, I would say:D

[Fonze]

Thing that surprised me the most here is that you waited 3 frickin months to finally do something about it.:-|

Shotgun.......rocksalt.......fried yard bird........cheap meal, I would say:D

I wanted to have civility. if thats even a word.

I've never had been shit on but when my son was like 6 months i was laying on the couch and had him in the air saying go go ga ga and he threw up right in my mouth:barf:.

[Muku]

I've never had been shit on but when my son was like 6 months i was laying on the couch and had him in the air saying go go ga ga and he threw up right in my mouth:barf:.

LMFAO.....shit happens hey? Now that is a winner in my book, :first:I've got three kids and none of them ever did that. Just for the hell of it I am going to ask.....what did it taste like?:-|

[Fonze]

He was eating chocolate and water, i didn't taste anything just the action was revolting but i didn't throw up. My wife also reminded me of a time he trew up milk on my face. Also remembering when I was a teen watching a friends kid of mine he also threw up on my face and open mouth. WTF.

I guess i'm just lucky.

[socalheart]

My husband had a bat fly in his face and wrap its wings around his head. To this day, he's afraid of bats.

[Crazysix]

My husband had a bat fly in his face and wrap its wings around his head. To this day, he's afraid of bats.
Holy Freaky shit BATMAN!!!!

[P_chan]

One of my buddies if really afraid of the bats over here, I find it amusing.

[P_chan]

I actually think they're kinda cute. Look like little flying foxes.

[Muku]

My husband had a bat fly in his face and wrap its wings around his head. To this day, he's afraid of bats.
Damn can you blame him? Shoot if that happened to me I think I would have a serious hissy fit myself.

There is only one thing I like wrapped around my head.....<3...:D
And is always has wings/legs that are longer than a bats thats for sure<3<3

[kombu_kid]

Never been shat on by a pigeon, but I've been nailed by a bat.

I always wondered if shat was a real word. If it is, I like it! Sounds like something from Shakespeare......"Ye gads, the vile creature hath shat upon ye!" Or maybe they would say "shatteth". Can you imagine telling your wife, "the child shatteth upon his drawers".

"O disgusting winged creature, thou hast shatteth upon mine horseless carriage for the last time.....prepare to meet thy doom!" You'll have to get into period-correct costume with the poofy hat and tights before you address the bird, screaming from your balcony. I'm sure the neighbors won't mind.

One time I went up and talked a girl who was laying on the beach. Everything was cool until a seagull "shat" on her. I dunno, it kind of ruined it. Maybe subconsciously I viewed it as a sign. Bad karma or something.

[DoctorP]

One time I went up and talked a girl who was laying on the beach. Everything was cool until a seagull "shat" on her. I dunno, it kind of ruined it. Maybe subconsciously I viewed it as a sign. Bad karma or something.

Hell, I would have taken it as a sign too...I would have to look good to her after a bat SHAT on her! :D

[Fonze]

So in the span of 3 hours i faced the first counter attack from the birds today, I guess they are upset. 4 bird bombings.

[ja_Patriot]

4 bird bombings, counter-attack, this is too funny! All I need after a couple of days at the "byo-in".

Lucky for me our parking lot is covered, otherwise my wife would have me carwash the cars.

On the other hand, the local folks believe that being "shat" on by birds is considered lucky. Hey, take the ultimate revenge - buy a Lotto 6 or "Takarakuhi" ticket.:thumbup1:

[dk]

On the other hand, the local folks believe that being "shat" on by birds is considered lucky.
One can only imagine the kind of demented mindset one would have to be in to create such a rediculous superstition.

[ja_Patriot]

Demented? Even my wife mentions it sometimes. It's knowledge shared about the local folks in this pit of yours.

Okinawa superstitions. Go to the part about "luck".

http://www.noscokinawa.com/okinawa.html#superstitions

[dk]

Thanks. :) Great reference, but I still can't understand how the heck that came to be a good luck superstition.

I liked the one about how if the first person you see after you wake up is a woman, you will have a good day. So that's why people get married! Makes sense now!

[kombu_kid]

Gee, do you think a woman thought of that one? I might be inclined to agree with that if you woke up, saw the woman, then "did the deed"......nothing like a little 'tang in the morning! (And I don't mean orange drink!) That's the start of a good day.

[Go-Shay]

why not place a small bird feeder on an adjacent side of your property and maybe they will move completely away from your car?

[Fonze]

You know what that sounds cool but since thursday i have been shat on 5 times. This is after i moved my car and even stopped using my sun visor that i figured gave a big glare. I dont know what else to do.:(:mad::o

[Go-Shay]

You can always do the un-pc thing and just shoot the birds with a bb gun

[FDokinawa]

we had a bird couple that made a nest in the alcove above the entrance to my house. We couldnt walk outside without being attacked by one of the birds. It was so bad that my ex-wife refused to step foot outside till I went out and chased them off as best I could. As soon as the baby birds grew up and left the nest, I destroyed the damn thing and have been checking every now and then for a new nest, just in case.

[DougP]

I asked my wife about that bird shit superstition and she looked at me funny and then asked me if I was on drugs... Guess its not a widely known superstition here..

[Muku]

I asked my wife about that bird shit superstition and she looked at me funny and then asked me if I was on drugs... Guess its not a widely known superstition here..
Probably people are keeping it quiet because they dont want all the good luck to fall on someone elses face.:rolleyes:


I know that a lot of superstitions are somehow based on a kernel of truth. There is one here about not cutting one's finger nails at nighttime. Supposedly they believe that means you will die before your parents if you do. Sounds pretty goofy right?

Well way back in the day before electricity and nail clippers, people would cut their fingernails with a sharp instrument like a knife or something suitable ok? Also if it was dark at night, no lights, maybe a candle or lamp to see by, they knick their finger, and it draws some blood. Again no biggie.

Back then what did the majority of people do for work? They were farmers, and they used animal manure for fertilizer, and they dug their hands in that dirt all day long. See where this is going?

Yup, the cut gets infected, long story short here to leave out the gory details of a probably rather nasty and painful death, a new superstition is born.:old:

[socalheart]

I'm familiar with the bird pooping on you as a good omen in Europe, particularly Italy.

[Muku]

I'm familiar with the bird pooping on you as a good omen in Europe, particularly Italy.
Well if that's the case then Fonze sounds like he is set for life.:eek: :D Well at least his car is at least.

[ja_Patriot]

Fonze,

I don't how big that tree is. But you could prune the tree. Have a look at which branches the birds sit on, and prune especially those branches. Get rid of any nests.

You could get a professional tree pruner but save the cash, get a 13-foot or higher ladder and use a pair of garden shears or if necessary a power saw.

Pruning is an annual event in Miami to prepare for hurricane season. But I did get rid of bird poop on the driveway that way.

[Crazysix]

alkaseltzer-

[Fonze]

Fonze,

I don't how big that tree is. But you could prune the tree. Have a look at which branches the birds sit on, and prune especially those branches. Get rid of any nests.

You could get a professional tree pruner but save the cash, get a 13-foot or higher ladder and use a pair of garden shears or if necessary a power saw.

Pruning is an annual event in Miami to prepare for hurricane season. But I did get rid of bird poop on the driveway that way.

It's been pruned, i think they are having cordinated attacks with other birds.

[Fonze]

Well if that's the case then Fonze sounds like he is set for life.:eek: :D Well at least his car is at least.

If they start shitting on me they will die, endangered or not they will die. To qoute achmed the dad terrorist " I KILL YOU"

[bored28]

OMG peta would go crazy if they read this post, LOL very funny!

[ja_Patriot]

Good idea Fonze.

Open the curtains and show the birds the "Achmed the dead terrorist" clip like a "video scarecrow" and scare them away! LMAO

[TheNoNamedOne]

OMG peta would go crazy if they read this post, LOL very funny!

I'm a PETA supporter. I've read it. Nothing about it has made me lose control. Besides, PETA sees much worse than this.

[Fonze]

Anyone want to see 2 dead birds. They wouldn't stop so i dealt with them. I dont know if i can post the pics though with the staff here it might give me an infraction.

As for the alcazeltzer it didn't do anything but make them throw up. I wonder though cause they haven't came back.

[dk]

What'd you use? A slingshot?

[Crazysix]

Anyone want to see 2 dead birds. They wouldn't stop so i dealt with them. I dont know if i can post the pics though with the staff here it might give me an infraction.

As for the alcazeltzer it didn't do anything but make them throw up. I wonder though cause they haven't came back.
never seen a bird throw up but congrats on the victory:first:

[Fonze]

What'd you use? A slingshot?

How did you know?

I have a really good one the kind you put on your forearm.
It was kind of easy after they ate the pills though. Sittin on top of the trees puking. There are still more but i might have to go a dif route cause i suck with the slingy. It took me a while to get them thank god i dont have neighbors.

[dk]

How did you know?
I see everything! :star:

[Crazysix]

How did you know?

I have a really good one the kind you put on your forearm.
It was kind of easy after they ate the pills though. Sittin on top of the trees puking. There are still more but i might have to go a dif route cause i suck with the slingy. It took me a while to get them thank god i dont have neighbors.
So you slow your enemy down by using WMD, then counterattacked with overwhelming firepower and manuever, OUTSTANDING GENERAL :army:
:first::first::first:

[Fonze]

Im thinking of baiting the rest of them with a bird hose or bird water feeder then giving them a special blend of nutrients.