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Prayer for 2000

Date Posted: 1999-12-31

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist,
your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your
urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your
psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs
and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure,
your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood
count and your mortgage interest not rise.

May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere
in the rush hour in less than an hour, and when you get
there may you find a parking space.

May Friday evening, December 31, find you together with
your beloved family and cherished friends, ushering in
the New Year. May you find the food better, the environment
quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much
more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily
do that night.

May you wake up on January 1st, finding that the world
has not come to an end, the lights work, the water
faucets flow, and the sky has not fallen.

May you go to the bank on Monday morning, January 3rd
and find your account is in order, your money is still
there and any mistakes are in your favor.

May you ponder on January 4th; How did this ultramodern
civilization of ours manage to get itself traumatized by
a possible slip of a blip on a chip made out of sand.
May we relax about the Third Millennium of the Common Era,
and realize that we still have 240 years until the dawn
of the Sixth Millennium of the Jewish Calendar by which
time the computer is long since obsolete and so are we.

May God give you the strength to go through a year of
presidential campaigning, and may some of the promises
made be kept. May you believe at least half of what the
candidates propose, and may those elected fulfill at least
half of what they promise, and the miracle of reducing
taxes and balancing budgets happen.

May you be awe struck by God's sense of humor as you
wrestle with the possibility that a professional wrestler
could become president of the United States.

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what
others see in you delight them.

May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be
blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until
you finish dinner, and may your check book and your budget
balance, and may they include generous amounts for charity.

May you remember to say "I Love You" at least once a day
to your spouse, your child, your parent. And may we live
in a world at peace and the awareness of God's love in
every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's
smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing,
miraculous beat of our heart.

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