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What's Going On Here?

By: Cass Kanevil

Date Posted: 1999-12-24

Drive. Driver. Driving. Driven. Drove. Looking up the different versions of the same word in the Webster's Dictionary, I was able to attempt to get a definition of what people are actually trying to do behind the wheel of a moving vehicle here in Okinawa.

There are several definitions, one being "to cause and guide the movement of". That being way, WAY, too basic to describe what's going on here, I read on and found "to kick with much force", "to rush or dash violently", "to hit or propel very hard". That was a little closer, but I'll give the term "Okinawan Driving" a whole new definition. How about "to mindlessly dash from one place to another thereby causing as much torment, anger, road rage and madness as possible"?

I hate driving anywhere on this island, whether it be on or off post. People are so rude and ignorant when it comes to driving, and it seems as though bad habits are shared from one driver to another. One of my major pet peeves is people that can't even go AT LEAST the speed limit. People who drive under the speed limit and can see a trail of cars forming behind them in their rear view mirror and just giggle to themselves should be taken to court! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE GASOLINE!! Not everyone has the luxury of the "Sunday Drive" at all hours of the day, 7 days a week, so we would appreciate being able to drive the speed limit and no slower.

There are also those people that can't catch on the idea that you can turn left on red if you are on a military installation. Every time I am stuck behind you, you take another year off of my life. Yeah, I take driving quite seriously and am offended by the mad cut-offs down Highway 58, the slow in the fast lane, the rude motorcyclists who claim the entire road as their own, the drivers who don't even stop at stop signs, and just drive right through them so they can pull out right in front of me.

To all of these people I say "Where are the MP's and the local police, and why do you still have driving privileges?" Let's see, the MP's are probably parked somewhere in the 24 hour Shoppette parking lot on Camp Foster, just waiting to catch the 18 year old Marine, who doesn't even own transportation, and who buys more than one 6 pack of beer. Let the "highly trained" Shoppette employees handle that, and you get out on the roads and see how F.U.B.A.R. people are driving!

Hell, I'm probably the best driver on island. I will volunteer myself to teach some of the idiots how to drive. "Cass Kanevil's Driving School - Don't Let The Name Fool Ya!" What do you think? I would love to list every license plate number of every car that pisses me off in this article, but then we still wouldn't know the names of these idiots or where they live/work. That's too bad. It would be pretty cool if a name and phone number were printed on each license plate so we could just call up and say, "Hey buddy, remember me in the white Carina that was stuck behind you today at the red light be the chow hall? Well, YOU CAN TURN LEFT THERE, YOU FREAK!

Perhaps the next time you see a bewildered woman in the car behind you yelling for you to make your turn, YOU'LL DO IT!" Then I'd rattle off a few more choice words and end the conversation. Folks, just because the locals don't drive the same way we were taught (pretty politically well said, huh?) doesn't mean that we should lower our standards of driving courtesy and road respect.

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