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What's Going On Here?

By: Cass Kanevil

Date Posted: 1999-12-03

Military Spouses are truly a special breed. We sacrifice constant companionship and take on all parental responsibility in order to support our service members. In that way we feel like we play a part in serving our country. We realize that it's a lifestyle that many would not dare walk into. However, we are those wives that take this role of military spouse seriously, and we work our butts off to do it well.

We do not cheat when our spouses are deployed (and believe me, it's not because we don't have needs or desires). We do not frivolously spend their paychecks when they're away. We’re constantly making the moves and changing schools and jobs at the drop of a hat to keep the family together. We basically give up a lot of comfort. If we can do all of that to support the needs of the U.S. Military, then WHY, OH WHY are there ever some people complaining that the help and support they need and request isn't given? Sometimes these needs are very basic and don't require a lot of time, thought or energy - sometimes it's as simple as a guy lending a hand.

Some husbands on this island are gone a LOT. Yes, some have nice desk jobs that keep them home 365 days a year; Monday through Friday jobs that allow them to be home at 4:30 on the dot daily. But there are special units here that deal with real world situations and train, train, train like there's no tomorrow. That leaves many of us wives alone to deal with sick children, all the household finances, school meetings, paying the bills, dealing with housing maintenance (cleaning and repairs), getting rid of any and all small rodents/bugs that sneak into our homes, typhoons, and any and all the daily mishaps.

It is my request that any and all available men HELP whenever and wherever they can. If you see a woman tugging 3 children in one hand and carrying 6 bags of groceries in the other – please, HELP. If you see a woman along the side of the road or even in front of her home with the hood of her car up, ASK IF YOU CAN HELP. Offer to carry the heavy boxes, park a little farther away in a parking lot so you can save those close up for women with babies; hold a door open, just be aware of your surroundings and be available to lend a hand.

I believe that you, the men of the US Military on Okinawa, are the most respectable men in the world for serving our country. Yet, it is a shame that you hesitate to serve us. If you see a mother in the aisle of the commissary screaming at the top of her lungs at her 5 year old for continuously pushing the cart into her heals, don't give her a look of amazement and disgust. Just try to understand. She may have had to repair the toilet at 5:30 a.m. that morning, dealt with a Gecko crawling across the kitchen counter as she prepared breakfast, and then looked down to see the world’s largest cockroach by her bare feet. She may have been told that she can't renew her birth control pill prescription for another month because there are no available appointments for her to get her yearly PAP smear check.

She may have sat all day by the phone just because she silently and telepathically "willed" her husband to call; but because she allowed herself a fast 5-minute shower, she missed it and was only able to hear his voice on the answering machine.

Oh no, my dear friends, do not be mistaken by this request. We are not helpless individuals, but rather the strongest women on the face of the earth.And despite our capability to take care of anything at any time, we do like to be recognized as ladies once in a while, and offered a hand or two by men that give a rip.

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