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Ask Sh'naynay

Date Posted: 1999-07-30

Ok the Party is over. Tell me something good. Get the hook up to the truth straight from the horse's mouth. You got the problem, I've got the solution. For questions or advice for lovers, children and whatever else your heart desires. So What's Up? E-mail me at shnaynay@japanupdate.com

I have a dilemma, my wife is Okinawan and I am military. We met here in 1989 and that of course was the reason for my extension. Well now my time is up and she doesn't want to go with me. We have three children, 3, 6, 9. I mean this is really heart pounding for me. My children wants to go to America, my wife wants to stay here with her parents. Doesn't the Bible say something like when you are married you are separated from your family and forsaking all others as long as you both shall live or stay married? I can't stay and she won't go. How do we compromise this situation. My kids need their parents. If she stays our marriage will not survive. Cut the Cord

Wooh, that's it exactly, not the Bible quotes thing you did, but I agree with the idea. Try compromising by telling her she can visit anytime, money permitting of course. Find a long distant plan so she can call. Buy a computer with a video attachment so she can see them while she talks to them. If her parents don't have a computer, help them get one before you leave. You need to try all ways to let her know you understand how she feels. Talk with her parents and see if they will support you in your idea. Love as they say is the international language and her parents may understand. If they have seen throughout your marriage that you are a good man, they may support you. Last I suggest that you seek marriage counseling. You must remember, Okinawa is all that she knows and maybe she scared to relocate. Good Luck and love always conquers all.

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